Wow. This was a long one. It’s hard to write when real life catches up to you so quickly and so often. I normally don’t touch on my personal life here very often and for good cause. It’s my personal life and I was raised to keep my personal life private. It is tough in the age of social media to do such things, but as you grow older there is less and less call for the social media in the daily routine, but it is fantastic for big announcements.
Friday began and I knew something was off. My youngest son, who has had some issues with depression and sees a therapist semi-regularly for those issues came home in a funk and I knew that something was wrong. He said he hadn’t eaten. His mother said that he didn’t want to come to my house. I knew that I needed to have a sit down conversation with him. We tend to do that every couple months when one of these issues comes up.
I sat down and had a talk with him about everything but it made me realize that I really needed to sit down with both boys and have a long conversation about everything that we’ve all been through in the ten years since their mother and I split up. And that is what I did. I flipped back a few months on here to the posts where I talked about things I wanted to teach my children. Life lessons etc. I eventually read through most of those after going through a history of my life, relationships and ups and downs as well a s the mistakes I’ve made and the things I did wrong in my life and overall, I really just wanted them to know, as they enter into high school and the teen years that I want them to know that I am here to talk to them.
It was one of the best conversations I have ever had in my life and I hope I was able to impart some wisdom onto my boys before they really need it the most.
This weekend also marked my two year anniversary with my significant other. We marked it with a special occasion. We had dinner at a fancy restaurant on the water, followed by a walk by Lake Ontario and yeah, I gave her an engagement ring. The one I found a few months ago and had been holding onto for the right time. We both discussed marriage off and on over the last two years. Who doesn’t when you’ve been together that long? And, we both know that we want to get married, but we also know that now is not the time and neither of us are ready for it yet. We decided a long time ago that we’re going to get married four or five years from now when we know that we can live together as a unit, as a family and not only survive, but thrive. I’ve made relationship mistakes before and I vow not to make them again. (Note the symbolism of the Archangel Michael defeating the demon tattoo? …hint: It’s pretty blatant and not really a symbol at all). So time is the answer and we are going to give it time. Time to flourish and blossom in ways I’ve never known before. I’m tired of my life being screwed up and hopefully, together, we can fix that.
In the midst of all that I have tried really hard to continue writing in a difficult chapter. It’s not so easy! But, I managed to make it through. 400 pages. Close to 81,000 words. I’m ready to get into the nitty gritty now.