Post mortem

Well, I haven’t been here in a while.  Since coming home from Japan, I think I let life take control.  Kids.  Holidays.  Family.  That’s what the holidays are all about.  I also spent the past two months dropping a ton of weight.  I mean, I’m not that heavy to begin with, but since learning how to eat in Japan, I’ve dropped twenty pounds.  It’s noticeable and I totally like it.  I completely feel like myself again.  I am free.  I am a rock.  I am healthy wealthy and wise.

It’s been a rough up and down rollercoaster of months emotionally and physically.  While still in the back of my mind the film and the book are lingering there.  I spent a good portion of my holidays working with the band and on the music.  Which is fine.  It kept the creative juices flowing.

This past weekend is what brings me back to the page. 

The night began with the purchasing of ingredients for a secret family recipe of an alcoholic beverage.

I do not drink.  I can count on one hand the number of times that I have had drinks and honestly… never been drunk.  Until this past Saturday.  My first drink wa November 5th, 2008.  At the age of 35.  I’ve just never been into alcohol.  beer, the flavor, the headaches attached to it all.  My grandfather was one hell of an alcoholic.  To the point of pouring in his morning coffee.  It’s not what killed him, but it sure as hell didn’t help.  I grew up with a father who was also an alcoholic… which subsided over time.  As the kids grew older he took care of that and pulled it way back, and I was very proud of that.   So, through college, I just managed to not circulate that direction.

As I said, the first drink was at the age of 35.  I had left my wife.  I was living in Missouri with a woman I had fallen mystically in love with.  I was ready to start my life over and ready to just be free and be real.  My love of the moment grabbed all sorts of drinks and the shots began to flow.  yeah.  did nothing for me.  Barely a buzz.  not even a dizzy spell.  I wasn’t impressed.  She tried a few more times to get me drunk… with no avail and we ended up sleeping the night away. 

The relationship ended horribly.  Oh well.

This weekend, I learned what it was all about.  A good friend.  A lot of drinking.  A nintendo wii.  And a hot tub.

I really don’t have to say much about it.  That kind of says it all.

I will hold those images close to my soul for a very long time.  There was a lot of laughter.  There was a lot of playful hugging and holding and snuggling.  There was warmth and comfort.  And freedom.  Freedom and uninhibited quiet. 

I came here to write in detail all the sensations the night gave me, but have since decided against it.  They are mine to hold.  They are mine to keep.  I fell in love in a different sort of way this weekend.  And those are for me.  Sorry for wasting your time.

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