The Journey

I’ve made it no secret that the last few years have taught me many things.  I had always set my sights high and had the highest most noblest of aspirations.  That’s no lie.  Anyone who knew me and circled with me, especially in those years somewhere between 2000 and 2005, where we began to grow as budding filmmakers, will attest that there were few things that wouldn’t get in my way.

I am a very modest artist.  I am a very stubborn artist.  I may not take no for an answer.  But I will be subtle with my response.  I am a quiet man.  I am a gentle man.  I have a temper, as do many people.  But there is only one person on this planet who brings out the worst in me.  That person also happens to be the mother of my children, so we’ll just leave it at that. 

I had high hopes and through self-teaching and quite a bit of self flagellation, brought myself to a higher way of thinking, perhaps egotistical way of looking at the budding digital world around me.  Am I an elitist?  Possibly.  Most likely.  But at least I know when my shit stinks, and when it doesn’t.  I do my best not to waste time on a sub-par project.  Perhaps that’s why I haven’t brought myself to do anything significant in that arena since 2007. 

I was waiting for the right time.  And that period of time was a personal leave of absence for me in the realm of film making.  It was necessary.  I had felt it for eight years, but didn’t have an inkling of an idea where to start.

Starting that next chapter in my life was difficult.  It was anger filled.  It was fueled by twelve years of angst and hatred.  It was an end that was a long time in the coming and a necessary end if I were to continue on my creative ways.  Dark clouds drain the creative mind.  I lost a part of me for  long time and have recently started to get it back.

The first step to retaining my soul, was putting music back into my life.  At one time, at the dawn of grunge and into the fading Seattle scene, I was a budding rock star.  A singer.  A songwriter.  With Passionate golden tones and hauntingly loving lyrics.  But when it comes to rock & roll, it’s not necessarily the sex and drugs that get you.  It’s the ego.   …which led to sex with the wrong people and subsequently caused the band to crumble.  A regret I held on to for many years later.

Once music was back in my life, the creativity began to spark.  Focus was slowly building in me.  I began to go through an old cycle and began to write again.  First, it was the novel.  An idea that had been milling around for months and months began to take shape.  A fire.  A look at the mind inside the results of human cloning.  Children.  Left with no mothers or fathers.  It’s been a long time brewing and 2009 was mostly spent working on the book.  It’s some 160 pages long at the current read and ends abruptly at a writer’s block.  The book is called “The Seven Isaacs”.  I will most likely reference it from time to time.

When 2010 came along, I realized it had been five years since I filmed my last project.  FIVE YEARS.  That’s too long.  So I made the decision.  I don’t want to write and produce and direct another small film in a small community with a small crew.  I want to film the project I want to do.  MY project.  I’ve tried the route of agent and pitch meetings and things like that to break into the Hollywood system.  But it’s too hard to get in through that front door.  So I am going to surprise attack from the back door.

A foreign film.

Slowly, for the past couple months, I have been putting the finishing touches on my masterwork.  A screenplay.  Set in a post-feudal-early-industrialized Japan.  A simple story about a man and an uprising gone wrong.

And this year, I am going to go to Japan to get this film made.  With me at the helm.  In another country.  With a language I do not speak.  As I said, I am stubborn.  We’re going to get this done my way.

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